Best Teacher of USA!

What a great group! But back to Graz where they will lift weights and practice their English so that one day, they, too, may be Governor of California.

So, would this certificate, with its grammar mistakes, be a white elephant, a trojan horse or a pyrrhic victory? Or is there a better word for such a well-intentioned gesture?

NO FOOTBALL

No football. No handball. No badminton. No yard darts. No lawn bowling. No archery, croquet or cricket. No jacks, craps or nine ball. No golfing, dog-walking or court jestering. No tomfoolery. No birdwatching. No regarding this grass with disdain. No running. No coveting the patch of grass. No imagining a freedom picnic taking place here - past, present, OR future. You may, however, light up a fag and drink a Carlsberg Special Brew out of a brown paper sack. That's just bloody well fine, now, innit?

Another Business Idea

VIKING FUNERALS 4 LESS

The Book I Write in 2008?

The ideas are already flowing. I had this stroke of genius! Its obviously related to my upcoming job search. I think this might get written. Here is the title page and table of contents.

"Business Ideas"

1) By-appointment-only coffee (Yr latest album, e-mail, customized cup, fresh underwear)

2) Haircut Hat Day (The Day In The Life of The Haircut Hat - "That's right. THE DAY."


3) Guitar Tuners Unlimited

4) Bottle Collecting Robots - Realistic and Practical Technologies

5) Smell This, Inc.

6) Thoughtful Cards to Your Sister

Books I Wrote in 2007

The Blue Heron On Methadone

Stories by Ammon Torrence

To order a copy, e-mail ammontorrence@gmail.com and make an offer.


Cheerios!

I am a Honky ass reader?

I resolve to read fewer books by white men and more books by presidential dogs.

Books I read in 2007

20 Books in 2007 List


1. Gallatin Canyon Thomas McGuane (1/23)
2. Things of This World Richard Wilbur (1/25)
3. The Book of Dave Will Self (2/6)
4. Love and Hydrogen Jim Shepard (2/13)
5. The Road Cormac McCarthy (2/19/07)
6. Fun Home Allison Bechdel (2/20/07)
7. First Figure Michael Palmer (3/5/07)
8. Ooga-Booga Frederick Seidel (3/5/07)
9. Geography III Elizabeth Bishop (3/22/07)
10. Gulliver’s Travels Jonathan Swift (4/17/07)
11. 77 Dream Songs John Berryman (4/23/07)
12. You Don’t Love Me Yet Jonathan Lethem (5/2/07)
13. In Persuasion Nation George Saunders (5/21/07)
14. A Tranquil Star Primo Levi (6/19/07)
15. Stories in the Worst Way Gary Lutz (7/2/07)
16. I Sailed With Magellan Stuart Dybek (8/2/07)
17. Growth of the Soil Knut Hamsun (9/25/07)
18. What is the What Dave Eggers (10/14/07)
19. Tree of Smoke Denis Johnson (11/12/07)
20. The Brief Woundrous Life of Oscar Wao Junot Diaz (11/29/07)